Jolly old Saint Nicholas lean your ear this way

I figure if you are taking the time to read this you actually know me. However, for those of you who don't know me, I think I may sounds kind of gay in some of my postings. I am fine with that, I don't need to explain myself to anybody. But saying that, I know this post aint gonna help me sound any less gayer.

I have been here in the Republic of Korea for almost four months now. The novelty has passed. I am not 'homesick' but I do miss some nouns (people, places, things). Like yesterday one of my college friends, Brianne, told me through the facebook that she missed me. Reading that almost brought me to tears. (I say 'almost' attempting maintain some semblance of masculinity). As the words, 'I miss you' maranated, I was reminded about all the relationships I am without. I mean, talking to Miss and Baylor through the Skype sometimes just isn't enough. At times I feel like a solider on the front lines. (That is a gross exaggeration that is probably offensive to actually military men.) I also haven't vocally corresponded with my bff E-currency (as he likes to call himself) since I've been here. I miss my Hardin kids so much but feel uber creepy when I facebook message them. (Just to clarify, I never instigate the message.)
I sometimes feel like the facebook makes things worse because I can see so much. I've watched Jason and Jenny's little mistake grow up through infrequent album postings. And I read about Keys advertising for the TVE stick horse race... I was there with her last year. :(


I have made some Korean friends but they are more acquaintances then actual friends. And their friendships are like Turkish delight. A little bit leaves me craving more. (Much like a REBA kiss... if you didn't get the 'Turkish Delight' simile.) These brief encounters of fellowship leave me recalling the joy relationships I've physically lost (because of Geography.) I have about four Korean, non-work friends (that are dudes) and I value them as much Sarah Palin loves shameless self-promotion.
I have met one Korean guy who is such a jolly 'gift.' His English name is Santa. I met him at the church I started going to and I've gotten to hang out with him a couple of times. This sounds so gay but I want to spend as much time with him as possible. I feel like we are getting past 'just friends' (and I completely mean that in a sexual way. Jk). I know that sounds queer but try to remember all my friends, my BROTHERS, are in the State (TEXAS) and the intRanet is the only form of communication I have with them. (which I am grateful for but I need/want intimacy here.)

Looking for an excuse to spend more time with Mr. Kringle, I asked Santa if he would be interested in reading a book together. Honestly, I was hoping for a non-religious book but he suggested "The Purpose Driven Life." I suggested REBA's autobiography but they haven't translated it into Korean yet...
I haven't read the book and am not really excited to but I look forward to having personal conversation. I think the book will help facilitate that.

In .love.
Jp

I hate to say it but, "Pfth..."

Most of you may think I am flawless or as I tell myself, "the crème de la crème." Surprisingly, that is far from the truth. And one of my genuine bad habits is being too mean to people (especially girls). Oh, and biting my cuticles but that doesn't effect anyone but myself and anyone who has to look at my dry-blood stained fingers... Ewww!

Anyway, I have been told many times in my life that I hurt people's feelings. And my responses are either:
1. I don't care.
2. I feel aweful.

Criteria for me to care is this: I have to like you. Even if it just a little bit.
Most of my three years at SFA were spent being friends with this girl I will call, 'Hebrew.' I easily, sincerely, 100% love Hebrew. She is a friend and sister. One time we were playing one of her 'gay games' (as I insensitively called them). And unfortunately the game required honesty. And through Hebrew's honesty, I learned that I had hurt her feelings by jokes I made. And even though she knew we were friends, it still hurt her. After she struggle to tell me this honest confession, I felt like I had been kicked in the balls. I hate seeing people I like upset. Especially girls. When girls cry I instantly try to figure out ways to 'fix' the problem.
And I know Hebrew isn't the only friend/sister I have hurt through my insensitivity.

Today I learned that my insensitivity also travels internationally. Big surprise.
I know I am socially retarded and so I don't always treat people well. This is my faulty justification, "that is just how I communicate." My 'love language' is discouraging, demeaning words.
Anyway, in an attempt to build a relationship with a co-worker I tried to joke around with them. Lesson learned, I need to actually be friends with someone before you start being mean to them. I am grateful for my co-workers maturity and honesty in addressing her feelings. How else would I have known I was offending her. Either way, I feel like I have to have a awkward D.T.R. when I go back to work. I guess that would be the 'mature' thing to do. (I will probably wigg out though...)

So, to the three people that read my blog, if you are a girl and I have ever hurt your feelings, and you think I actually care for you. Then I am sorry. And if you want me to specifically apologize, call me out. Obviously, I need it.
(If you are dude and I've hurt your feelings, you can find a away to move on.)

Peace out crackers-
Jp

Hardin, a surprising 4th place.

In my three months here in South Korea, I've received two articles of mail. The first, a letter from Alyssa Gaalema and the second, a card with two re-gifted Cds, from AnJew-We. And none from the rest of you...

In retribution for their gifts I've scribbled a letter to each of them. Now they have to suffer through my ugly handwriting and pur spellin. In the letters I wrote about all the things I miss from 'home.' And that got me thinking...

When I was deciding to come to Korea I knew it would be an emotionally trying experience. I've never really lived outside of the nation of Texas and I've always been able to go wherever I wanted. If I was needing needing a Camp Peniel fix I could just hop in my car and head to Marble Falls. (Camp being in my top three list of things I miss the most). When building myself up for my year here I knew it would be hard to not see my Miss Berkley and her 'spacial' brother (my #1). And physically I knew going without Rudy's pork loin would drain my strength (#3). Naturally, I also knew I would miss my family but I was prepared to miss them so not seeing them isn't as hard because i was predisposed to that struggle.

What has surprised me is how much I miss Hardin. I knew I would miss Mrs. Keys, the Führer of the Social Studies department, and my fellow Social Studies subordinates... I did not realize how much I would miss all of Hardin. For the past two years, the teachers at Hardin High School were my family. And I know that sounds gay but it is true. I have never had so many loving, encouraging, tolerant, patient, forgiving mothers and girlfriends. (Shout-out Mrs. Rao, Carr, and Veach!)
My last year at Hardin was particularly awesome. Even though we lost the immortal Ms. Croft and were stuck with Jonsey, it all worked out aight. I no longer was driving the bus before and after school. I was more confident as a teacher. And we had TWO conferences! I mean a conference and a ultimate period. Just like Camp Peniel and the SFA rock wall, I genuinely enjoyed the people I worked with. Even Mrs. Cisneros was tolerable. And when Via-Tore up wore deodorant and stayed away from the tuna I could suffer through her presence.



But I am not only grateful for my Social Studies, aka the "Department of the Millennium." The entire staff I sincerely like. From Mrs. Betty rockin' up-and-down the halls to Ricky in the bus barn or "Mean Scott" in the Cafeteria; even scary, sweaty Coach Jones threatening a sexual harassment lawsuit, and Charlie allowing me to live adjacent to his mother practically for free... everyone was so... amicable.

I don't know of many schools where the Superintendent would pretend to fire a timid, scrawny first-year teacher in order to play along with a pathetic bald man's prank. Or a vice principal that would allow that same sad, lonely bald man to write explicit Valo-grams to him and other innocent staff. And Mrs. Marberries, not even my mother would have been such a great first-principal. How many bosses would invite you to stay with them when you were being threatened by a psychotic, over-weight redneck? Everyone was so open and welcoming. And I am truly grateful.

No work place is perfect but I 100% took for granted the family I had at Hardin. I have so many memories. Memories my dreams remind me of here in Korea. Like when I had a private slumber-party in the teachers lounge and I think I literally scared the tee-tee out of Mrs. Thornton when she bolted open the door to my safehouseat 4am. That awkward yet delightful tickling strategy from Mr. Mealer while competing at ultimate-football. And the toothpick Slutter infamous trying to shield a poor student's eyes from a urinating Cisneros. And our NYC trip when Keys left the maps in Hardin and tried to blame me... "Good times."
I love each one of the teachers and staff members at Hardin High School/Cafeteria/ Admin office. Except the tech people. I never got them to unblock google images. And I hold grudges really well... (I'm just JK-ing Mrs. Muldrow)

But I not only miss the teachers, it is hard and awkward to describe how empty a part of my heart feels because I am not there for the students. I feel extremely guilty that I will not be there to see my first class of students graduate. I feel like I am betraying them in some way. But I know I will never forget them. (Except oh-whats-his-name... you know the tall one). That class of students are pivotal and significant in my life as an educator. I want to contact them and ask what their plans will be after May but stings from "To catch a Predator" with Chris Hansen flash through my mind... But if any of you Hardin graduates have learned to read and stumble upon this blog, know that you are important to me and I sincerely do care about you and your future.
(Also, I will not forget when Mrs. Koan gave me permission to "beat Carson's ass" if he ever acted up...)

And my freshmen last year... What can I say? I don't know what I was thinking when I decided to take that Geography postition. I had a hard time teaching that subject. I was completely retarded for essentially agreeing to a second 'first-year' of teaching. But I am happy I did. I have been bugging Mrs. Jones and Allen through the facebook checking up on them. Even the kids I didn't like, I still miss them. I don't think students understand how important and consuming they are to their teachers. Especially single losers who have nothing else to do with their lives but go to work during the day and watch Netflix movies at night... My students last year brought me so much joy (and also some not-so-pleasant feelings too). They aren't quite human yet but they are on their way and it is encouraging. I know there is so much life and opportunity out there for all of them and I wholeheartedly pray that they find the person God wants them to be. The funny things is I know they don't give three shakes about me or what I think but those kids are often on my mind.
And my precious SHIP mates. I miss them. Such a diverse and precious mix of chillins.

I am glad to be here in Korea and I am learning a lot but I just want to say that I love and humbly miss all my former co-workers and students at Hardin.
In .love.
Mr. Powers

Ajima is Korean for 'crazy'

An agjima is a older Korean woman. It was one of the first words I learned here. And they are an enigma. I will be honest, I have always been 'drawn' to older women... But ajimas are crazy! And even though this is a male-dominated country, women run the show.
Ajimas have mastered the "Korean squat." They can squat on the sidewalk for days selling their home-grown vegetables. It is a physical feat that defies nature. Ajimas are so weird. They have an unspoken, unexplainable power about them. They can pretty much do anything they want.
For example, there was this ajima that beat up a younger Korean girl on the subway for not offering her seat.
Today I went to the Seoul zoo and while I was waiting for my friends I was watching a group of ajimas talking on the grass. Then one of them stands up and pulls her pants down to show something to her fellow ajimas. So in the middle of busy, weekend-crowd zoo this old lady is showing her friends (and everyone else) her old-lady underroos.
Another thing I have surprisingly gotten used to are the ajimas who clean the public bathrooms. Unlike the States where janitors close the bathroom to clean them, ajimas literally clean around you while you are using the bathroom. The first time this happened to me I was completely embarrassed. I was urinating at the urinal and this ajima passes from my left, picks up some trash and scrubs the urinal to my right.
However, the most awkward bathroom/ajima experience was at work. The cleaning ladies at work used to ride in the same death-trap we rode into work on so they would try to talk with me and randomly touched my face... So I felt we had a 'relationship.' They would talk to me and I would just smile like a retard watching brownies bake. But one day at work I was peeing and the cleaning lady comes in. When she sees somebody is in there she actually turns to leave but then pauses and watches me pee for a couple of seconds. I am standing there just smiling and she is looking at me, curiously processing my white wiener. I felt so weird. It was obviously what she was doing but what could I do but just finish?
Ajimas can also be ruthless. I have had ajimas almost push me down because I am moving too slow or standing in an area they want to stand in or just want to mark their territory, making sure even the foreigners know of their dominance in this society.

But ajimas are also the cutest things in the world. I get a thrill out of seeing them dressed in the cute, shinny, colorful Sunday clothes. Or their over-sized polarized, prescription-grade visors that cover their entire face and neck. They can also, carry an infant, sell peanuts, direct traffic and change a taxi's oil all at the same time.

I was told a joke by one of my Korean friends. Here it is:

"There are two types of ajimas.
-Tough ajimas and even tougher ajimas."

Jp