I hate to say it but, "Pfth..."

Most of you may think I am flawless or as I tell myself, "the crème de la crème." Surprisingly, that is far from the truth. And one of my genuine bad habits is being too mean to people (especially girls). Oh, and biting my cuticles but that doesn't effect anyone but myself and anyone who has to look at my dry-blood stained fingers... Ewww!

Anyway, I have been told many times in my life that I hurt people's feelings. And my responses are either:
1. I don't care.
2. I feel aweful.

Criteria for me to care is this: I have to like you. Even if it just a little bit.
Most of my three years at SFA were spent being friends with this girl I will call, 'Hebrew.' I easily, sincerely, 100% love Hebrew. She is a friend and sister. One time we were playing one of her 'gay games' (as I insensitively called them). And unfortunately the game required honesty. And through Hebrew's honesty, I learned that I had hurt her feelings by jokes I made. And even though she knew we were friends, it still hurt her. After she struggle to tell me this honest confession, I felt like I had been kicked in the balls. I hate seeing people I like upset. Especially girls. When girls cry I instantly try to figure out ways to 'fix' the problem.
And I know Hebrew isn't the only friend/sister I have hurt through my insensitivity.

Today I learned that my insensitivity also travels internationally. Big surprise.
I know I am socially retarded and so I don't always treat people well. This is my faulty justification, "that is just how I communicate." My 'love language' is discouraging, demeaning words.
Anyway, in an attempt to build a relationship with a co-worker I tried to joke around with them. Lesson learned, I need to actually be friends with someone before you start being mean to them. I am grateful for my co-workers maturity and honesty in addressing her feelings. How else would I have known I was offending her. Either way, I feel like I have to have a awkward D.T.R. when I go back to work. I guess that would be the 'mature' thing to do. (I will probably wigg out though...)

So, to the three people that read my blog, if you are a girl and I have ever hurt your feelings, and you think I actually care for you. Then I am sorry. And if you want me to specifically apologize, call me out. Obviously, I need it.
(If you are dude and I've hurt your feelings, you can find a away to move on.)

Peace out crackers-
Jp