The weekend before I came to Korea I ate lunch with my grandparent’s in Fredericksburg. They have been encouraging and supportive regarding my decision to come to Korea. But my grandpa asked me what my goal was in going to Korea. Surprisingly, I didn’t have a ‘goal.’ Well, if I did, it wasn’t well thought out.
This was my mindset:
1. I have no family of my own (besides Miss Berkley and her brother and My REBA).
2. I had few bills and ‘relatively’ little debt. (I am sure my definition of ‘relative’ differs then more financially stable people).
3. And even though I love Hardin (the kids, my department and co-workers…), I knew that if I had stayed there one more year I would have gotten stir-crazy.
I had the opportunity and desire to come here and so I did. But what was my goal. After my lunch with my grandparents I tried to think of some goals. All I came up with were:
1. Professional Development (whatever the stink that meant at the time?)
2. To learn a little Korea.
Both of those goals have fallen at the waist side. I think the only ‘professional development’ I will learn is how to not care as much. It really is a freeing lesson. I may also learn how to not be so snappy at my bosses. Even though I never had an issue with Tam (my principal from Hardin), Mandy Keys got to me sometimes and as her subordinate (as she often reminded me… “Just J.K.ing”) I probably did not respond maturely or professionally towards her. Here I have been a little snappish or dare I say, “toss, toss-ish” and that might not be wise. If I get fired, I have to go home. My visa is tied to the job. So I am trying to just chill-ax about ‘the Korean way’ and go with the flow.
Anyway, I am at my four-week mark and I am trying to come up with newer, more realistic goals.
1. Be less dependent on the other foreigners. I am scared to go places without them. Though now I am confident to ride the subway by myself and go to some restaurants by myself. (If the menu has pictures). But I can’t talk to people or haggle prices. I don’t even know Korean numbers.
2. Learn some Korea. I am so naïve and arrogant. I thought that I would be able to come here and actually become fluent in Korean. I mean, I will be here a year. I am no longer so optimistic. Some of the other foreigners I work with have been here years and cant read or speak much Korean.
I have learned some phrases like, “Thank you.” and “Hello” (with and without respect) and “Rice?” and Nora bong which is a singing bar. –That was actually the first word I learned.
3. Make Korean friends. Speaking a different language is a huge barrier between potential friends. I like the other foreigners I work with but I want Korean friends. I foresee myself getting comfortably stuck in my ‘foreign circle.’ It is so easy to gravitate towards foreigners because you can talk with them.
It is so weird. I will be on the subway or walking on the street and I’ll see a foreigner and feel like I have to talk with them. In the States, I nonchalantly pass thousands of people and have no desire or inspiration to talk with them. Here my eyes perk up with I see non-Koreans as if they are already acquaintances. I have tried to be friendly with the Korean teachers at my work but I think they just think I’m weird. And they always start conversations in English then start speaking Korean to me…
4. Build fellowship. I thought living in Hardin was hard without ‘fellowship.’ (And by that I mean friends like I had at camp or college. I like to think of ‘fellowship’ as people ‘to do life with.’). I found an English church but it is in Seoul and that is about two hours away on the subway. This past week I asked two Korean guys to do a Bible study together. It have a horrible habit of making normal social conversation awkward so when I asked one of the guys to do the Bible study in my mind it sounded like I was asking him out. And the other guy can’t read English too well so he wasn’t sure… Whatev.
So those are my goals now. I think they are aight.
Before I go I want to share a funny story (well, funny to me):
In my office we have a bunch of little cubical of teachers, both Korean and foreign. And Park is our coordinator. He is the one who schedules us and tells us of all the last-minute changes to our existing schedule (it is hard to be passive-aggressive in text…). Anyway, Park is the middle-man between the administration and the teachers. An awful position to be in. Park is one of the guys I’ve been snappish with. I really like him and think he does a good job with what he is given but sometimes he will spring stuff on me last minute and it just unnerves me. Last he told me that I would be a ‘sub’ this week. Which has been really good because I’ve just gotten to help a lot of different classes and teachers and learn how to teach some of our different classes. So it has been productive. This morning Park was stressed about something and didn’t really know what to do with me (in regards to the schedule). So I told him to give me the master schedule and I would schedule classes for myself to go sub. That obviously helped him out because he kept saying, “Justin you are in my side. You are in my side.” A common prepositional mistake but because I’ve been noticeable perturbed about the surprise, last minute scheduling I thought it more appropriate for him to say, “Justin, you are a thorn in his side.”
Now that I wrote all that I realize it wasn’t very funny.
In .love.
Jp
Fellowship = "to do life with" :0)
ReplyDeleteI read a book called Three Cups of Tea, and the main character is in the upper Himalayan mtn. range in a small village. It takes me longer than usual to read nonfiction books because I feel obligated to write every stinking amazing thing down-
"When the porcelain bowls of scalding butter tea steamed in their hands, Haji Ali spoke. “If you want to thrive in Balistan, you must respect our ways…The first time you share tea with a Balti, you are a stranger. The second time you take tea, you are an honored guest. The third time you share a cup of tea, you become family, and for our family, we are prepared to do anything, even die.” “Doctor Greg, you must make time to share three cups of tea. We may be uneducated. But we are not stupid. We have lived and survived here for a long time.”
“We Americans think you have to accomplish everything quickly. We’re the country of thirty-minute power lunges and two-minute football drills. Our leaders thought their ‘shock and awe’ campaign could end the war in Iraq before it even started. Haji Ali taught me to share three cups of tea, to slow down and make building relationships as important as building projects. He taught me that I had more toe learn from the people I work with than I could ever hope to teach them.” pg 150
Justin, know that a day getting to know someone is not a day wasted. Even if youre just swimming and not getting anywhere, those days point you deeper to a mood of self reflection. You ARE going to share "tea" in Korea, JUST HANG IN THERE!