Fool me once...

Recently my mental aguish has gradually been on the rise. My distress sprung from the inflation of four significant personal issues/decisions I was pressed to confront. Every Sunday the prayer team at my church offers prayer for any desperate soul in need. Praying is really personal for me. Some of my most intimate exchanges with friends have been while we prayed together. So I was bit trepidatious to approach the intimidating prayer team stranger but I had reached my max in regards to my strain. I had never gone to the prayer team before but I know there is power in prayer. I had been praying for discernment, and had asked multiple people to pray as well, but I still had no ‘answer’ from God. (Or at least an answer I could comprehend).

One of the weights on my shoulders was a relationship one of my students. A student that I personally cared deeply for had lied to and betrayed me multiple times. He was #3 on my list of loads I needed lifted. I lingered after the service, unsure if I wanted to approach the pray-ers. After seeing the gentle face of the prayer-lady I decided to stay. I introduced myself and she claimed to be named ‘Angel’. I am not entirely confident that was her real name. I think she needs the alias to protect herself from prayer recipients with an inclination of stalking… Which I qualify.

The prayer experience was strange for me. For those of you who don’t know me, I am not a hugger. And Angel intimately prayed for me (if you know what I mean...). I told her my ‘list of four’ and before we started to pray she asked if she could put her hand on my back. That's safe enough, I could do that. Little did I know she would go all Song of Solomon on me. As the prayer progressed, our hands went from holding to fastened to a vice-grip. And she used the ploy of putting her hand on my back as an excuse to pull her entire body towards mine as if she was magnetizing a potential husband. I am saying all of this in jest (and slightly in fear/trauma). In truth I was encouraged by the sincerity and passion of her prayer. But at times she was so inflamed with the Spirit that my hand brushed her ‘nursers’ (as my eloquent father says). I don’t know how she could have NOT noticed. Maybe I am too easily distracted? At the end of the prayer I knew I was in for a hug. I was expecting a cordial, brief side-hug. That is as intimate as most co-ed Christians allow themselves. Not Angel. As I tried to make my escape she full-body, chest-to-chest embraced me for a strong 7-34 minutes. I didn’t know how to respond. The only people I just want to hold for prolonged periods of time with no reason is Miss Berkley and her brother.    

After the prayer I genuinely felt like I forgave my lying student. The resentment and pain that I harbored dissolved away.
Then Monday that same student lied to me again...

I still feel forgiveness for him and brokenness but as my G-Dubya says, 

"Fool me once, shame on... shame on you.
Fool me, you can't get fooled again."